Some Things I Learned As a New Mom

I became a new mom about 2 years ago, with no baby-sitting experience of taking care of a newborn. Still, my instinct always assured me that I was going to be okay. This confidence came from the phone conversations I had with my mother. Our conversations always strengthened me and encouraged me to believe in myself. The thought of knowing that my family was always a help away was always comforting enough to assure me. In my first year of being a new mom, I would read and learn helpful parenting styles from other new mothers when they shared their experiences. As I pay it forward, I now share my experiences from my first year as a new mother.

Please note that I am only sharing my experiences as a first-time mother. It is wise to seek professional advice and guidance when it concerns the health of you and your baby.

1. Doing Squats During My Pregnancy Resulted In A Smooth Labor And Delivery.

I exercised throughout my pregnancy, and it was so beneficial to me during my labor. In the first 6 months of my pregnancy, I did a lot of walking and a light workout routine for pregnant women. I went on YouTube and found a pregnancy workout video that was light and easy for me to follow. As I entered my 3rd trimester (7th–9th month), I started to do more squats and less workout routine. When squatting became too difficult for me to complete, I would pile my reading books on the floor and sit in a squat position on them. Squatting helps stretch the pelvic floor muscles, which makes pushing the baby easier during delivery. In my experience, my contractions were tolerable for the most part until it came time to push. I was able to deliver my baby in less than 30 minutes of pushing. I always like to think that exercising and squatting played a very crucial part in enabling me to experience a smooth labor and delivery. However, I do understand that this process is different for every mother, and what worked for me may not work for another.

2. Feeding My Baby with Both Baby Formula and Breast Milk Helped Me Mentally and Physically.

I had initially planned to only breast-feed my baby. I grew up seeing mothers breastfeed their babies, and I ignorantly assumed that breastfeeding was natural for every mother. It was only until my breasts became swollen and heavy with milk so quickly and my nipples clogged during the first few days after giving birth that I let my baby have baby formula. I eventually had a good supply of breast milk, so I used a breast pump to pump milk into milk bottles and stored it in the fridge. This relieved me of the discomfort of leaking breasts and milk waste as well. During the days when I needed to rest and sleep, my partner was able to use baby formula and the stored breast milk to feed our baby. Thus, this allowed me to have time for myself while my partner bonded and had his time with our baby.

3. Even If No One Shows Up For You, Trust That You Are Able To Nurture And Protect Your Child.

During my son’s first year of life, his father worked a “fly in, fly out” job. The nature of the job required him to be away from us most of the time, and being a new mom with just me and my baby, it was challenging. Even though I have family to ask for help when I need it, most of the time I choose not to. I didn’t want to cause inconvenience to anyone, and honestly, that is not a helpful mindset for a new mom. If you’re a new mom, it is better to ask for help, and it is quite necessary for you and your baby’s health. However, if you’re like me, who chose not to make that decision or doesn’t have that option, I promise you that God’s grace will protect you when you ask for it, and your motherly nature will guide you and see you through those days. I have no doubt that mothers are built to nurture and protect. Nevertheless, when the opportunity to have help is available, I strongly advise getting it.

4. My Education Helped Me Be A Better Mom.

There is this old belief that educating a girl can be a waste of time because she will eventually marry and spend most of her time being a mother. However, the things that I have learned by going to school have helped me to be a better mother for my son. In this modern-day world where the guidance and teachings of experienced elder women of my clan are far and distant to guide me as a new mother, I now rely on my education. I read about the growth and development stages of a baby and learned about ways to help my baby achieve his milestones. I watched YouTube videos of new mothers who shared their experiences and daily routines and was able to find helpful ideas from them. I asked nurses questions to better understand my son’s results during his clinic visits. I read and learned about recipes for cooking nutritious meals for my son and chose not to give him bottled baby food. I read and tried to understand how a toy can help my son’s growth before buying it. I have experienced that education, coupled with a mother’s instinct, is a very helpful trait to have when raising my son. Every time his clinic visit results place him in the green healthy graph area for his age and how energetic and happy he is, I am assured that we are doing great. Until today, I still do my best to learn how I can help my child’s growth and development at the age that he is.

5. Remember To Have Grace For Your Child’s Father, As He Is Also Growing Into A Parent.

I have learned that the challenges of life are necessary to help us better ourselves. A couple experiencing growth in their relationship should understand that it doesn’t happen the same way for both of them. It is a beautiful blessing and experience to welcome a new child into a relationship and grow from a couple to a little family. What I have learned in my first year of becoming a mother is that, as the mother of a newborn, I am the primary parent a newborn will need. It is the stage in my baby’s life in which his most important need is a mother’s presence, love, and affection. Therefore, it became overwhelming for me, and at times it felt like I was doing it by myself. I overlooked parts of how my partner was involved, and I didn’t realize that he too was experiencing his own changes in becoming a father. In retrospect, our growing experiences as parents were not the same, despite going through the same life event. It was through communicating what our experiences were like to each other that it allowed me to understand him better. It is like teamwork; at each stage of our child’s life, one parent might be the primary parent our child will need, but we always work together as a team. As a result, when we worked on our relationship to grow and become better, it caused me to be a happy mother to our baby.

In summary, as parents, we all aim to raise healthy and happy children, and the routes we take to achieve our goals may not be the same as those of another family. But I hope that as I share my new mom experience, it will help another new mom in some small way. Our parenting journeys will not be the same; our children will grow at their own pace and flourish into their own individuality. May we not compare our differences but rather help where we can and cheer for each other. If there is one thing that is common, it is how we feel about our children. Once again, it is necessary to always seek professional help and guidance for everything concerning the health of you and your family.